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Friday, February 18, 2011


So a couple of my friends as of late have been trying to date new people and I'm pretty excited for them but it has got me thinking, which is never really good.  I see them getting ready for their dates and hear them talking about how to ask them out and they approach it in a way that is so different than how I see them.  This always makes me wonder, are they changing because they want to or because they have to?  The way I have always seen a relationship is just like a close friend emotionally. So I guess what I have trouble understanding is why you would act differently around someone you want to date than you would with your friends. Because if they make you want to change for the better then that is a great success, but if you change only when you are around them then it isn't really fair to either of you.  It all points to the situation where you get cut off driving down the road and you shout something you shouldn't or you have a bad day at work and you drink something more than you should or when you get in that first fight and you close off your emotions to the other person.  Thats the big speed bump, what happens then?  And you never know, they may like you enough to just deal with whatever faults that happen to come up, but what if they question what other faults may follow? What other parts of your personality have you been hiding? Have you even been your true self with me at all this whole time?  From there on out the rest of the relationship is a question of truth.  Again, maybe they will see past what you didn't want to admit about yourself, but you just have to remember that maybe works both ways.  Don't take this as a post to anyone specific, it is meant as more of a question really.  We all have secrets, and we all do things that we wouldn't want EVERYONE to know about, so how do we let them out to the people closest to us without scaring them away?  When a girl asks if I smoke do I just say yea I smoke a cigar every now and again, or if they ask if I cuss can I say I do more than I would like to, especially on the football field? No one is perfect but I feel like we are under pressure a lot of times to convey ourselves that way.  To be the Beaver Cleavers and George Bradys of our society and to look like the model person.  But why can't we just be like Shawn Hunter or Screech or just be Tyson Street?  Why isn't the pressure just to be ourselves and have our own unique struggles?  That is what gets to me, not about dating, but relationships with other humans in general.  We are all like icebergs in the fact that 90% of our personality isn't on the surface, but we insist on only seeing the visible 10%.  That is becoming my challenge to myself, to seek out that hidden 90% that everyone has.  Maybe it will help me find something or someone I'm looking for, but maybe works both ways.

1 comment:

  1. That's really insightful. You are quite the thinker.